Random Rants

Rant 1: About RAB (rec.arts.bodyart):

Rant 2: People who ask for better pictures, so they can copy them

Rant 3: Total idiots who think rude guestbook entries are funny. Added to, August 5th, 2001.

Rant 4: Doesn't anyone read my rants? No, I will NOT send you a better photo!

Rant 5: If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it

Comments about my rants

It's been a while since I've added to these rants (years, as a matter of fact), but the latest spate of "can I have better pictures?", "how much?", and other impertinences has started to annoy.

Rant 1: rec.arts.bodyart:

Preface: This started out as a response to some personal email I received. I'd decided I'd
had enough of RAB after a couple of particularly unpleasant situations.

I got really tired of the "cheerleader clique" mentality, vacuous and repetitious postings,
fawning and saccharine sweetness towards the select few and vicious nastiness towards anyone
who dared to post unpopular opinions (read: don't agree 100% with everything said by the
"inner circle"). You can disagree vehemently with a person without getting personal :) and
you can discuss bodyart without becoming cloyingly and insincerely affectionate.

That, combined with a strong suspicion that what is wrong with many of those people
is no small thing - and I don't mean that they're "mutilating themselves" - just that
many of them don't really seem to have a strong grasp on who they are, what is reality
and what is the real world, let alone what their place is in it.

Some of them are very young, so at least they have the potential to catch on, but some
others are at least chronologically adults, yet seem to have no clue.

This is not to say that I think everyone who participates on Rec.Arts.Bodyart is a clueless
idiot or dangerous lunatic - mostly just a select few, though their numbers seem to be swelling
every day. There are some whom I've met and I like a lot, there are some I'd still like to meet, and
then there are those who'd be better off staying clear of me. :)

I see someone like spidergod5, who is modifying himself in ways which will result in his being
at least in the eyes of "society", a freak; but he understands this. He knows where he's placing
himself in relationship to the rest of the world and desires to be there. He's thought it out.

Then you have the group of little wannabe freaks who all want a split tongue and other
more visible modifications without really having a sense of who they are, and not even aware
that they're missing it. To be fair, these are often, though not always, very young kids who
aren't even legal. But some are, and I really wonder: do they think out the ramifications of getting
facial tattoos? I doubt it. Is it simply in the interest of being called freaks by the adults they
want to piss off? This may not be their stated reasons, but then again their stated reasons read
like something dictated out of the "RAB Coolness and Acceptable Use Guidelines Manual and Manifesto".

Perhaps it was easier when I was a kid, and all you had to do was grow your hair long, wear
bell-bottoms (and that fashion coming back is one phenomenon that I find particularly and
amazingly silly - but I digress), army surplus, listen to rock and smoke dope, to be declared
a freak - even if the ones who were truly the freaks did other, more controversial things.
There might have been only one Abby Hoffman, but all of the Abby wannabes got to be lumped
in with him with no more effort than sewing a flag patch on their torn jeans.

But then again, you also got your brains beaten out by people who hated the "long-haired hippie
commie weirdoes", so I guess some dues were paid and some pain and sacrifice was involved :)

And the sad thing now is those hippie freaks are probably middle-aged financial managers worrying
about their retirement portfolio and perhaps even giving some thought to the fact that they were
probably not the best or most attentive of parents. And guess what? Where are their children?
I'd guess a good many of them are RABbits.

The one thing that will probably keep these kids from totally screwing up their futures is
probably the sheer fact that body modification has become so popular that it's been picked up by
advertising, and with that juggernaut pushing it along, all of it will be mainstream in the not
too distant future.  Like mass-produced tie-dye, cheapened but accepted. The next generation of
financial managers will just be a little more decorated than the last. Hopefully they'll at least
have learned by hanging out on RAB that they should demand quality and art in their bodyart

Rant 2: People who ask for better photos

This is something that never ceases to amaze me. If you need an idea, fine. What's on my
pages should suffice. Take that to a good artist, tell them that you want something like this,
and let them design it for you.

If you found a good artist, that artist should be able to come up with a design that suits you.
If that artist can't, perhaps you should find another artist. If the first artist spent some time
trying to accommodate you, then you owe them some money. Discuss this ahead of time,
it will save some aggravation later. Take the time to find an artist that suits you, and with
whom you feel comfortable. You are talking about putting something on your body that's
permanent. Hello, is anyone out there thinking??? You want this to be something you can be
proud of, right? So why are you being chintzy, it's yours forever. If you have to pay the first
artist 50 dollars for spending the time, do it - at least you aren't paying them 250 for a tattoo
you hate. If you have to save a little more because of it, it is worth it - this is permanent.
Spending a lesser amount of money on a low-quality tattoo or settling for a tattoo with which
you aren't completely happy is simply STUPID. So find a high quality artist. This means
someone who can draw and who has enough experience to be able to take your body and skin
texture into consideration when placing ink on it and in it. That person will be more than happy
to work with you to provide you a tattoo of what you want, not a copy of what I have.

To request a special favor of a total stranger is bad enough. To expect them to take it as a
compliment adds insult to injury. But my favorite stupidity for people who request close-ups or detail
photos on my web-page guestbook: they don't even remember to give their correct email address. One
person told me "www.hotmail.com". Hmmm. Guess what, sweetie. Not bloody likely, even if you'd had an
eighth of a clue and an accurate email address.

Rant 3: Aren't we clever and funny!!!

For this, well... I can't possibly insult the intelligence of boneheads like this - they seem so intent upon exhibiting
their obvious lack of any intelligence whatsoever, it's almost laughable.

That said, I've decided to create a little "Hall of Fame" for the particularly stellar performers.

My one regret is I didn't start this earlier. But since tonight (December 29th, 1998) someone from WebTV
(yes, dears - I can tell where you post from - it's timestamped and logged) graced my pages with his patronage and
left this bit of cow flop in my guestbook, I've been moved to action.

So here it is, the first entry.... well, since this mental giant apparently couldn't scroll down the page, so thought his
first attempt went awry, the first and second entries (yes, folks, he copied it all in, exactly as you see below, twice):


Date: 12/29/98 18:44:37
How the site was found: No answer
Opinion of site: No answer


Clever, eh?

Besides, now that I think about it... I may cover up my tits, but there's a good deal of ass extant. Perhaps this future
Captain of Industry, despite having gone through my pages fairly thoroughly, (he hit the pagecounter three times),
mistook it for something else? Hmmmm...

New, August 5th. This one is my new favorite:

Date: 07/30/2001 9:21:16 PM
Email: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Homepage: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thoughts: sucked

Jude, is that you? Or maybe your pal Beavis?

Although this one comes in a close second, but at least he's polite about it:

Date: 07/30/2001 9:32:36 AM
Name: Andy Norris
Email: irishdue@yahoo.co.uk
Thoughts: perfect
Comments: Hi There just a quick mail to say i really liked the site !!

But i would like to know if you have anymore pictures !!

That have more revealing pictures .

I have a few home pix i can send you !!.


I would like to say that if I wanted to put up "more revealing pictures", I'd have started a porn site, not a tattoo site. While there's apparently a market for more revealing photos of me (who knew?), I would certainly not give them away, and I don't have any desire to trade for "revealing photos" of strangers. Sheesh!

Rant 4: Doesn't anyone read my rants? No, I will NOT send you a better photo, or be the tattoo-answer-man!

I am truly amazed at the chutzpah of people who look at my tattoos and think the fact that they are on the internet indicates my willingness to share them literally. Of course, it's the smaller ones that they want (and a few of those ARE flash), but my body is NOT a flash sheet. And my dolphin, my vines, my colorful sqiggly stuff on the outside of my left calf are my drawings, and as such not in the public domain. What is up with these people?

I have shared photos of my tattoos with you. I have shared the experience of becoming heavily tattooed with you. I have documented the process, and shared that with you. But that's all.

I appreciate the effort that is made to sign my guestbook - I do. But, really - why do you think I owe you answers to all your questions? Why do you even think I know all the answers?  And why on earth do you think I want you to duplicate my tattoos - they're MY tattoos? Think, will you?

Rant 5: If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it

Now, for those who want to know how much my tattoos cost, I tell you what: I pretty much detail the length of each of my tattoo appointments. Trevor's going rate is $150 an hour, though his rates are more fluid when you get a lot of work from him.

If you really want to know, feel free to figure it out for yourself. Have fun!

Comments? Write your own goddamn rant page!

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